Popular LONDON—After Prime Minister Theresa May initiated official proceedings for Great Britain's exit from the European Union, sources confirmed Thursday that Queen Elizabeth II has been frantically trying to preserve the nation's European alliances by arranging the marriages of her great-grandchildren. RICHMOND, VA—Sighing loudly and expressing a deep regret regarding the naïve and starry-eyed assumptions he had made about a recent supermarket purchase, local 32-year-old Noah Willson lamented to reporters Thursday that he had been duped by the glamorized manner in which a can of beans had been portrayed in a television commercial. JACKSON, MI—Citing a wish to maintain the quality of life for residents across the state, the Mississippi Senate on Thursday passed a bill outlawing the sale of soft drinks in containers smaller than 20 ounces. WASHINGTON—Fully mindful of the privilege he enjoyed,
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